East Ultimate

Taken from the DeepDiscThoughts blog:

"After Nationals ends again without a title...

Well, you just sorta pull back and take stock. You let the season go, bit by bit. You have to. You can't carry that weight with you.

For someone who goes into every single game knowing he will win, the months after Nationals can be so very hard.

Cold, regardless of the weather.
Dark, regardless of the time of day.
Depressing, regardless of what goes right.

Some ultimate is played. (Half-hearted and coed, most likely.)
Some training is undertaken. (Low-intensity and weak, most likely.)
Some thought is dedicated to ultimate. (Asinine and half-baked, most likely.)

Shrinking from the Ultimate world and taking time to lick the most painful wounds yet (as each year hurts more than the one before). Writing and talking about the game no longer seem prudent or interesting. Just futile.

Then something happens. A moment that you can never remember, but you're sure it happened. Maybe a clip of you on Disc 4. Maybe a joke by a coworker about your stupid hobby. Maybe a midget skying you in some shit-ass pickup game. Maybe some college kid gets all excited about his team. Maybe you win some worthless (but fun) coed tournament. Maybe all of the above.

Inexplicably, the psyche slowly begins to rebuild itself. The inner strength gathers again. Egged on by teammates and friends, the energy builds. Training starts taking on a more competitive edge. Pickup starts to be depressing not because of the level of the other players, but because you know you need to be better. And now you want to work on it. Prove those fuckers wrong.

The Talk begins amongst team leaders and meetings are planned.

The new season starts to take shape. Never the same as the last, it always provides new challenges. New stories, new focuses and new growth (both mental and physical).

Excitement returns. *This* will definitely be The Year. It must be. I am good enough. I will WILL my team to victory. I will succeed.

THIS WILL BE THE YEAR."

As Derek said yesterday, this team has a flair for the dramatic. This team has always loved the glorious win, the come-from-behind victory. It's what we're all about.

It is with that in mind that East Ultimate will face its biggest challenge yet. From now until this time next year will be the hardest time in East Ultimate's history... the loss of our beloved coach, the person who was always there to remind us of our goal; when we were struggling through "the black night of the soul" he was there to guide us through it. Now we are just us. Yes, we will probably have a coach next year, and I'm sure that s/he will be great. But as of right now, East does not have a coach. Now is our time to show everyone what we are made of. I appeal to all of you, right now, to step up. Yes, the season ended yesterday, and we are all looking forward to a break from ultimate and competition, but while you are kicking back, ponder on this: each and every one of you (myself included) now hold the future of East Ultimate in your hands. Whether you are mad or sad or indifferent, this doesn't change the fact that we are a team. And now that we don't have our constant coach to remind us of what is really important, our cohesiveness and interdependence as a team really become important. With Gottlieb gone, the responsibility of convincing rookies that ultimate is a real, competitive sport falls on each and every one of us. When East starts practicing again (in the summer/fall), I ask all of you to lead by example. God forbid we let Derek's departure also mark the departure of competitiveness and intensity from our team. The responsiblity of carrying on the East tradition now falls squarly on the shoulders of all of our returners (freshmen, congratulations, you are no longer rookies). Don't let East fall into a prolonged "dark night of the soul".

Conditioning is not an issue over the summer; skills are. Throw and try to play some; pickup is widespread in Denver in the summer. And if you need a good reason to play over the summer and get better, just think about playing CA next season.

Show everyone what you're made of East. Rise to the challenge.

I've played in a lot of tournaments. I've won a few, placed in a few, and lost a lot. I've played basketball, softball, and, of course, ultimate. Personally, I define myself by the sports that I play and how I play them. That being said, let me add this: the feelings that I've been having, the thoughts that have been running through my mind as I attempt to study for finals and finish up (way) overdue homework, are brand new to me. I have never in my long career as an athlete experienced the emotions that I am going through right now. Yesterday, after a talk with Tote, I finally realized how to put them into words (however roughly).

I know that we will win states. It's not a feeling, and it's not a measured speculation based on seedings and possible outcomes of pool play games, it's a fact. I would imagine this is what it feels like to believe in God. I have no strong basis for it, as I haven't seen a lot of the competition play, and the teams I have seen are no doubt much improved since I last saw them play. But despite the lack of evidence, I know.

But that's not the real reason why I feel so damn good about this weekend. Background info: for pretty much this entire season, I have gone home after practices and games thinking that there was something more I could've done. I missed the block, I got broken, I threw a crappy turnover. All season I've felt decent, mediocre. But not now. Thinking about this weekend, and visualizing how I will play, I know that I won't make mistakes. I am so confident that I will be faster, stronger, and better than my opponent that I do not have a shadow of a doubt about what the outcome this weekend will be. Beyond that, (here's the important bit), I feel the exact same way about all of you. I'm not trying to fire you up, and I'm not appealing to you to give it your all, I'm stating a fact. I know that y'all will go into states ready, and that you will play your absolute best, because there is no Monday for East Ultimate. We live until Sunday afternoon, and that's it. I haven't even thought about next week at school.

We as a team have four days of perfection ahead of us. You don't need to believe that we can win states; I'm telling you. You just need to know. We're ready East. Now let's go win.

Today was arguably the best practice we have had so far this season. Actually, screw that, there's no argument. Nothing else comes close. We were focused, we worked hard, we pushed ourselves mentally and physically, and we improved. Way to go, East.

Unfortunately I'm not writing this to give us a pat on the back. I'm writing because I experienced today that shitty feeling that every other team in Colorado will experience 16 days from now. Our offense is just fucking demoralizing. The trick is to recognize how money our offense is, and use that to push our defense. Every time you feel like shit because the other team scored on a sloppy transition, use that feeling to be more vocal next time, more heads up. This is practice, and in practice that shitty feeling is a positive thing. I hate getting beat deep, especially when I'm right there and all I have to do is body my man up a little, or just layout. Especially when it's the last point of the game. But I guarantee you that next time I see the huck go up, I will remove my head from my ass and get the D. You have to use that hatred of getting beat (wherever it may come from), and turn that into power. (By the way, Spence, nice cut and grab.)

That said, fire up East. And for the next two weeks, think about what that means. Bring it at practice. Get that feeling in your gut, that urgent feeling that screams to you that if you don't push yourself, if you don't run your hardest, you might explode. That slightly nauseous, nervous energy that turns your body into a fucking live wire. The feeling that you can't believe it's been 24 hours since you've played ultimate and you are jonesin'. You need to get the D, because if you don't, you let yourself down. Well, dear reader, it's worse than that. You let your team down.

So fire it up, East. Fire up that gut feeling. And bring it to practice. You play how you practice, and if you practice balls (or ovaries) out all the time, you will play that way. (If you have any trouble getting fired up, I can burn you a CD.)

16 days, baby.

~Brenna

P.S. Throw in your off time. No turns. Ever.